While the internet age has so many wonderful advantages, for me, instant communication DOES have one big drawback: the fact that it IS instant communication. Back in the day when we had to put pen to paper, I had time to stop and think about whether or not I REALLY wanted to express my opinion and time to weigh the consequences of speaking up. Nowadays, however, I often find myself hip deep in a HEATED discussion before I can stop myself. Something catches my eye and I jump in with both feet, sometimes later wishing I'd just hit delete and forgotten about the whole thing.
Yesterday, I landed, yet again, in that same situation. The topic of one friend's FaceBook comment was a recent story about a gay high school student who had asked the administration if she could attend the prom with her girlfriend AND wear a tux. The school responded to the request by cancelling the entire prom and punishing everyone! Sadly, this particular FaceBook discussion got ugly very quickly with several people logging in to condemn this specific gay young lady and to bash gay folks in general. What was most disturbing to me, and what sparked my headlong leap into the conversation, was the prevailing attitude of several of the contributors that ALL gay people were headed straight to Hell!!
Now, regardless of how anyone feels about whether or not homosexuality is a sin or not, the very idea that ANY human being has the right to speak up for God and punch another person's ticket to eternal damnation was like waving a red flag in front of a bull! Of course, I expressed my own belief that it wasn't up to US to judge...and boy, did I get an ear full of self righteous, judgemental pontificating!!
God's Word, it was explained to me, is "unchanging" and clearly states that God doesn't love gay people and that He intends for them all to burn in Hell! It was further explained to me that only a TRUE Christian would have the "strength" to "stand" for Him and proclaim the judgement of those around him/her who are in sin!
Oh, REALLY??? I guess I was too busy removing the "log" from my own eye to read that part in the Scriptures! I guess I totally missed the part in His Word that says "Here, God takes the rest of Eternity off and leaves the Judgement to mere human beings who KNOW His Will so much better than HE does!" Lord, help us if that were true...
Fortunately, the way I read the Bible, what He REALLY said was, "Look, you just clean up your own act and leave the Judgement thing to ME!" Over and over, repeatedly, in the Word, Christ points us toward loving and forgiving our fellow man...because we aren't one spot better than the sinner sitting next to us!! It may come as a surprise to alot of lofty church folk, but the ground is level at the foot of the Cross! We are all just miserable sinners, saved only by HIS Grace, and not by any good in ourselves...because without Him, we don't HAVE any good in us!
Throughout the four Gospels, we hear stories of how the Lord sought out the hurting, the helpless, and the sinners and sat down to break bread with THEM! To the high falootin' high and mighty temple people, He called them "white washed tombs, full of dead men's bones!" and warned that THEY were the ones headed for Hell!
Yes, it is absolutely true that we are to understand God's rules and abide by them and that we should recognize sin in all it's many forms. The reason for that, however, is NOT so we'll be properly prepared to whip out our pointer finger and find fault in everyone else! The idea is that we will be able to look in the MIRROR and see what is missing in US!
How sad that Christian people would EVER stand on their lofty principles, just so they can get high enough to look down on their fellow man and make lists of who does and doesn't get to go to Heaven. Those kind of "Christians," I'm afraid, are in for a VERY long fall when the Lord informs them that they NEVER had that right.
On the Cross, Christ looked down, in love, at those folks who, filled with hate and judgement, had nailed him there. In an instant, He could have called down fire from Heaven and consumed them where they stood. Their deeds certainly would have seemed to warrant that sort of punishment. Instead, He cried out to God: "Father, Forgive them, for they don't know what they're doing!"
Lord, Forgive US when we get so comfortable in our own "goodness" that we can point out the sins of others and dare to decide, on Your behalf, who should head up or down! Help us to see, clearly, the damage we do to Your Name when we strike out, in hate and disgust and anger, at our fellow human beings. Make it clear to us that we are not "standing up for You" when we seek to destroy others.
In the end, Father, the ultimate Judgement belongs to You and You alone. Have mercy on me, a sinner...
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Sunday Driver...
I'm having to sincerely repent of enjoying someone else's misfortune! I know it's wrong and I'm working on that character flaw, but when you hear the details of the story, you may just need to repent, too.
Near our home, there is a major road construction project going on. They are linking a 4 lane bypass into the highway that runs in front of our house and will eventually put in an overpass, so it appears the work will be going on for quite a while longer. In the middle of the mess, of course, they have posted "work zone" warning signs and the speed limit drops from 55 to 35 in that area.
Now, I was once a city bus driver and am acutely aware of traffic signs (not to mention the fact that I don't want to see my insurance rates go up due to a ticket) so I obey that reduced speed limit religiously and poke along through that spot like a little old lady who only drives on Sunday! At the moment, though, I seem to be the ONLY person who takes that work zone all that seriously.
At the point that the speed limit drops, if a car comes up behind me, they don't have an opportunity to pass legally for at least a mile. You can't begin to imagine the ABUSE I've taken, driving back and forth through that spot, at the hands of highly irrate drivers who can not understand why I won't speed up. Often, I have someone so close to my bumper, you couldn't get a piece of paper between us. This is accompanied by horn blowing, middle finger waving, swerving, and shouting in many cases.
Needless to say, as soon as they reach the spot when the double yellow line ends, they take off like a shot around me, their eyes burning holes as they go by, mouths moving, reciting verbage I'm probably glad I can't understand. Away they zoom, leaving me in their wake as I continue to plod along at 35.
And the most frustrating thing of all? They get away with it! Day after day, week after week, when I reach the crest of the steep hill in the middle of the work zone, the cars who passed me are long gone. I can't count the times I've said, "Where's a cop when you need one!??" It's been so irritating to think that there I am, trying to do what's right, obeying the rules, to the letter of the law...and nobody is around to see me do right...or the other guy do WRONG!
That is, until the other day. The scene was familiar: Me poking along, another car weaving anxiously behind, loosing their minds over the anoying obstacle of my car in their way. They had come up on me SO fast, they'd already missed the first opportunity to get around me and had to wait until we got to the top of the hill for their next chance. As I came up over the crest, though, I could see what they could not. Nestled descreetly in the bushes just about a half mile down the road was a police car! Right as both our cars came into view, my frantic follower slammed his gas pedal to the floor and breezed by me...not looking down the road ahead of him, but staring into my car, giving me "THE" look that said, "Get outta the way, you slow old broad!" Guess that's why he didn't see those blue lights pop on until he was nearly up on the cop's back bumper!
Of course, I slowed down even more to make sure the officer had PLENTY of room to slide right in behind his prey. Both cars pulled over immediately, barely clearing the road way, so naturally, I had to creep by for the safety of all involved. As a result, this also gave me lots of time to make eye contact with the offending driver and flash him a pretty smile as I went by! MY look said, "Uh, huh, big boy! Look who's on the side of the road and look at the slow old broad passing YOU by!"
Aside from the fact that I enjoyed that whole event WAY too much, I did learn something else from what happened. I was SO frustrated at consistantly doing the right thing, without reward or recognition, and was downright jealous of that multitude of others who zoomed right past me, breaking every rule, but seeming to get away with it.
Isn't that the way it sometimes is with alot of things in life? When we try our hardest to follow God's rules and obey Him, we are often viewed as saps and suckers who are missing out on life in the fast lane. While we are plodding along, watching His road signs and going at His speed, it appears at times that the sinners are having a blast, racing along, wind in their hair, with no penalties at all! It make us downright angry and we find ourselves questioning God and questioning His rules.
When we see the consequences hit home, though, and when we see a sinner trip up and fall over his disregard for the law, it suddenly reminds us that someone IS watching, even when we don't perceive Him. Just as the speeder who zipped past me was probably doing what HE did on a regular basis (i.e. ignore the rules) I was busy doing what I tried to practice every day! When the time came that somebody WAS paying close attention, I didn't have to abruptly change my ways and do something new. I just kept behaving as I do every time I pass that way!
There is an old saying we're all familiar with: "Practice makes perfect." I'm, by NO means, anywhere close to perfect at this point in life...but if I am PRACTICING the behaviors, values, and morals that God has called me to, I am so much less likely to end up on the side of the road, paying the penalty for the consequences that come from flaunting the rules and trying to do it all at my own speed.
Yes, somedays, when I'm passed up by folks having what seems like a WAY better time, it can be hard to see the point. On the other hand, someday, I'll stand before the Lord and, hopefully, get to hear Him say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." With that goal in mind, I realize I'd rather get there in HIS timing and on HIS road, rather than to race my own way and my own speed headlong into a crash!
So, both on the road and in life, I think I'll just bide my time, slow down where I'm told to and enjoy the ride!
Near our home, there is a major road construction project going on. They are linking a 4 lane bypass into the highway that runs in front of our house and will eventually put in an overpass, so it appears the work will be going on for quite a while longer. In the middle of the mess, of course, they have posted "work zone" warning signs and the speed limit drops from 55 to 35 in that area.
Now, I was once a city bus driver and am acutely aware of traffic signs (not to mention the fact that I don't want to see my insurance rates go up due to a ticket) so I obey that reduced speed limit religiously and poke along through that spot like a little old lady who only drives on Sunday! At the moment, though, I seem to be the ONLY person who takes that work zone all that seriously.
At the point that the speed limit drops, if a car comes up behind me, they don't have an opportunity to pass legally for at least a mile. You can't begin to imagine the ABUSE I've taken, driving back and forth through that spot, at the hands of highly irrate drivers who can not understand why I won't speed up. Often, I have someone so close to my bumper, you couldn't get a piece of paper between us. This is accompanied by horn blowing, middle finger waving, swerving, and shouting in many cases.
Needless to say, as soon as they reach the spot when the double yellow line ends, they take off like a shot around me, their eyes burning holes as they go by, mouths moving, reciting verbage I'm probably glad I can't understand. Away they zoom, leaving me in their wake as I continue to plod along at 35.
And the most frustrating thing of all? They get away with it! Day after day, week after week, when I reach the crest of the steep hill in the middle of the work zone, the cars who passed me are long gone. I can't count the times I've said, "Where's a cop when you need one!??" It's been so irritating to think that there I am, trying to do what's right, obeying the rules, to the letter of the law...and nobody is around to see me do right...or the other guy do WRONG!
That is, until the other day. The scene was familiar: Me poking along, another car weaving anxiously behind, loosing their minds over the anoying obstacle of my car in their way. They had come up on me SO fast, they'd already missed the first opportunity to get around me and had to wait until we got to the top of the hill for their next chance. As I came up over the crest, though, I could see what they could not. Nestled descreetly in the bushes just about a half mile down the road was a police car! Right as both our cars came into view, my frantic follower slammed his gas pedal to the floor and breezed by me...not looking down the road ahead of him, but staring into my car, giving me "THE" look that said, "Get outta the way, you slow old broad!" Guess that's why he didn't see those blue lights pop on until he was nearly up on the cop's back bumper!
Of course, I slowed down even more to make sure the officer had PLENTY of room to slide right in behind his prey. Both cars pulled over immediately, barely clearing the road way, so naturally, I had to creep by for the safety of all involved. As a result, this also gave me lots of time to make eye contact with the offending driver and flash him a pretty smile as I went by! MY look said, "Uh, huh, big boy! Look who's on the side of the road and look at the slow old broad passing YOU by!"
Aside from the fact that I enjoyed that whole event WAY too much, I did learn something else from what happened. I was SO frustrated at consistantly doing the right thing, without reward or recognition, and was downright jealous of that multitude of others who zoomed right past me, breaking every rule, but seeming to get away with it.
Isn't that the way it sometimes is with alot of things in life? When we try our hardest to follow God's rules and obey Him, we are often viewed as saps and suckers who are missing out on life in the fast lane. While we are plodding along, watching His road signs and going at His speed, it appears at times that the sinners are having a blast, racing along, wind in their hair, with no penalties at all! It make us downright angry and we find ourselves questioning God and questioning His rules.
When we see the consequences hit home, though, and when we see a sinner trip up and fall over his disregard for the law, it suddenly reminds us that someone IS watching, even when we don't perceive Him. Just as the speeder who zipped past me was probably doing what HE did on a regular basis (i.e. ignore the rules) I was busy doing what I tried to practice every day! When the time came that somebody WAS paying close attention, I didn't have to abruptly change my ways and do something new. I just kept behaving as I do every time I pass that way!
There is an old saying we're all familiar with: "Practice makes perfect." I'm, by NO means, anywhere close to perfect at this point in life...but if I am PRACTICING the behaviors, values, and morals that God has called me to, I am so much less likely to end up on the side of the road, paying the penalty for the consequences that come from flaunting the rules and trying to do it all at my own speed.
Yes, somedays, when I'm passed up by folks having what seems like a WAY better time, it can be hard to see the point. On the other hand, someday, I'll stand before the Lord and, hopefully, get to hear Him say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." With that goal in mind, I realize I'd rather get there in HIS timing and on HIS road, rather than to race my own way and my own speed headlong into a crash!
So, both on the road and in life, I think I'll just bide my time, slow down where I'm told to and enjoy the ride!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Slip Slidin' Away
Sorry I haven't kept up to date lately, but as I stated last week, I took a pretty serious fall almost 2 weeks ago and have been spending most of my time in the lounge chair with an ice pack and a bad attitude!
The whole story of my slip and slide adventure is almost humourous now (well, ALMOST...) but at the time, it wasn't too funny at all. During this winter's wretched weather, I've been SO careful. We've had many, many inches of snow, topped with sleet, ice, and freezing rain which, over time had turned to a virtual skating rink in many places. Since I am suffering from advancing age and a lack of good health insurance, I'd been overly cautious ever time I set a toe outside the door. I bought those nifty little ice cleat things you can strap to the bottom of your shoes and I often used the snow shovel as a "crutch" to creep to the car. At all times, I walked in a crouch, arms outstreatched, ready for a potential fall. I was SO aware of every step and certain that no patch of ice was going to bring me down. I was on my guard!
Of course, as soon as we experienced a warm spell and everything began to melt, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was so wonderful to walk outside on dry pavement and not have to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame while doing it! I definitely relaxed and went confidently out the door, assured that every step was safe.
What I forgot to take into consideration was the fact that, underneath all that melting snow and ice, the earth had turned into a sea of cold, slippery mud. The first time I set my foot off the driveway and onto the yard, that foot went flying out from under me and down I went. Unfortunately, my shoulders were headed in a different direction from my backside and, as I fell, I heard an audible "pop" in my back. The pain hit me like I'd been tackled before I even landed.
It was one of those "your life flashes in front of you" moments. For several minutes, I lay on my back in icy, sticky mud, almost unable to breathe and incredibly panicked about what I might have done to myself. After a while, though, I figured out that I could wiggle my toes and move my legs, so I managed to sit up, with Zach's help, and roll over to crawl out of the mud to where I could try to stand up on the driveway. I knew that, if I attempted to get back up in that mud pit, I'd just end up falling down again.
The short version of the story is that I didn't end up doing permanent damage, but have really struggled over the last couple of weeks with alot of discomfort and rehabilitation. It was a very painful lesson in what ELSE to look out for in winter!
While I've been sitting and doing not much else, this whole incident made me think of how we run into such similar circumstances in our lives. When I first came to know the Lord and repented of my life without Him, I was SO ready to take on sin! Having lived a pretty decadent life before getting saved, I was sure I knew where ALL the "slippery spots" might be coming up...and I was definitely on my guard! Nobody was going to be able to throw anything at me that I would get tripped up on. I was walking through life, kind of like walking on that ice, with my head down, ready for any temptation. I wasn't going to slip!
Unfortunately, after a time, when my initial passion wore off and I got a bit too comfortable, the enemy of my Salvation knew exactly what to toss in my path to make sure I took a big fall. While I was busy watching out for all sorts of obvious sins that I thought would be like those big patches of ice this winter, the devil was preparing the "mud" for me to step in! Into my path, as I walked confidently staying on the straight and narrow, he planted a tall, handsome, blue-eyed 6-footer who was just smitten with little old me...and just "happened" to be a devoted atheist! As passionate as I had been about my faith, I was even more passionate about my new relationship and, needless to say, Christ quickly moved downward on the priority list! I slipped and I fell big time! This is not to say that anything that happened to my relationship with the Lord was the fault, in any way, of the charming young man that I fell for--it was just that, I became SO infatuated with him and wanted to please him to the point that, when he said church was silly and he didn't see the need to go, neither did I any more.
In time, we did go our seperate ways and it was then that I realized just how badly I had hurt myself. It was so much harder to get back up and come home to the Lord after having fallen right back into the old ways I had just repented from! Like the other day when I fell in the mud, I lay there in my sin for a long time before I "came to myself" and crawled back out to the solid Rock and got on my feet.
That was a long, long time ago, but the lesson was not lost on me. Any time that I get to believing that I am "there" and that my relationship with Jesus is just hunky-dory, I KNOW I'd better sit myself, get humble, and ask the Lord to show me exactly where I'm about to go off the path. I am always aware that the enemy has NEVER forgotten about me and will always be on the ready to throw an stumbling block in my way if I take my eyes off of where they should be.
No more slippin' and slidin' for me--in both the literal and spiritual mud! But, at the very least, I have definitely learned that, if I do misjudge my steps and end up flat on my back, I don't have to keep wallering where I'm laying, but I can get up, pull myself up, and deal with the consequences, knowing that the mud will wash off and I will be whole again in time.
Still, I think I'll try to stay on the solid ground in the first place! It hurts a WHOLE lot less!
The whole story of my slip and slide adventure is almost humourous now (well, ALMOST...) but at the time, it wasn't too funny at all. During this winter's wretched weather, I've been SO careful. We've had many, many inches of snow, topped with sleet, ice, and freezing rain which, over time had turned to a virtual skating rink in many places. Since I am suffering from advancing age and a lack of good health insurance, I'd been overly cautious ever time I set a toe outside the door. I bought those nifty little ice cleat things you can strap to the bottom of your shoes and I often used the snow shovel as a "crutch" to creep to the car. At all times, I walked in a crouch, arms outstreatched, ready for a potential fall. I was SO aware of every step and certain that no patch of ice was going to bring me down. I was on my guard!
Of course, as soon as we experienced a warm spell and everything began to melt, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was so wonderful to walk outside on dry pavement and not have to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame while doing it! I definitely relaxed and went confidently out the door, assured that every step was safe.
What I forgot to take into consideration was the fact that, underneath all that melting snow and ice, the earth had turned into a sea of cold, slippery mud. The first time I set my foot off the driveway and onto the yard, that foot went flying out from under me and down I went. Unfortunately, my shoulders were headed in a different direction from my backside and, as I fell, I heard an audible "pop" in my back. The pain hit me like I'd been tackled before I even landed.
It was one of those "your life flashes in front of you" moments. For several minutes, I lay on my back in icy, sticky mud, almost unable to breathe and incredibly panicked about what I might have done to myself. After a while, though, I figured out that I could wiggle my toes and move my legs, so I managed to sit up, with Zach's help, and roll over to crawl out of the mud to where I could try to stand up on the driveway. I knew that, if I attempted to get back up in that mud pit, I'd just end up falling down again.
The short version of the story is that I didn't end up doing permanent damage, but have really struggled over the last couple of weeks with alot of discomfort and rehabilitation. It was a very painful lesson in what ELSE to look out for in winter!
While I've been sitting and doing not much else, this whole incident made me think of how we run into such similar circumstances in our lives. When I first came to know the Lord and repented of my life without Him, I was SO ready to take on sin! Having lived a pretty decadent life before getting saved, I was sure I knew where ALL the "slippery spots" might be coming up...and I was definitely on my guard! Nobody was going to be able to throw anything at me that I would get tripped up on. I was walking through life, kind of like walking on that ice, with my head down, ready for any temptation. I wasn't going to slip!
Unfortunately, after a time, when my initial passion wore off and I got a bit too comfortable, the enemy of my Salvation knew exactly what to toss in my path to make sure I took a big fall. While I was busy watching out for all sorts of obvious sins that I thought would be like those big patches of ice this winter, the devil was preparing the "mud" for me to step in! Into my path, as I walked confidently staying on the straight and narrow, he planted a tall, handsome, blue-eyed 6-footer who was just smitten with little old me...and just "happened" to be a devoted atheist! As passionate as I had been about my faith, I was even more passionate about my new relationship and, needless to say, Christ quickly moved downward on the priority list! I slipped and I fell big time! This is not to say that anything that happened to my relationship with the Lord was the fault, in any way, of the charming young man that I fell for--it was just that, I became SO infatuated with him and wanted to please him to the point that, when he said church was silly and he didn't see the need to go, neither did I any more.
In time, we did go our seperate ways and it was then that I realized just how badly I had hurt myself. It was so much harder to get back up and come home to the Lord after having fallen right back into the old ways I had just repented from! Like the other day when I fell in the mud, I lay there in my sin for a long time before I "came to myself" and crawled back out to the solid Rock and got on my feet.
That was a long, long time ago, but the lesson was not lost on me. Any time that I get to believing that I am "there" and that my relationship with Jesus is just hunky-dory, I KNOW I'd better sit myself, get humble, and ask the Lord to show me exactly where I'm about to go off the path. I am always aware that the enemy has NEVER forgotten about me and will always be on the ready to throw an stumbling block in my way if I take my eyes off of where they should be.
No more slippin' and slidin' for me--in both the literal and spiritual mud! But, at the very least, I have definitely learned that, if I do misjudge my steps and end up flat on my back, I don't have to keep wallering where I'm laying, but I can get up, pull myself up, and deal with the consequences, knowing that the mud will wash off and I will be whole again in time.
Still, I think I'll try to stay on the solid ground in the first place! It hurts a WHOLE lot less!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Ladies, Please!
I've been out of commission with a bad back lately and didn't feel like sitting at the ole blogger dashboard, but a recent story on the news propelled me out of the comfort of the lounge chair and straight to the keyboard, in spite of the ache.
Last night, at the Olympics, the Canadian women's hockey team beat the US for the gold medal. It was a hard fought game, but the Canadian girls came out the winners and their joy was well deserved. The arena, in the home country, went wild of course and the singing of "Oh, Canada" was loud and moving. Exactly the kind of stirring scene we have come to expect and enjoy from watching the Olympics over the years.
What went on in that arena later, however, prompted the subject of this commentary! After the music ended, the last high-fives with the 2nd place Americans were exchanged, and the fans had gone home, the Canadian women took to the ice again...but this time, to sit down and celebrate with booze and cigars. Naturally, nothing in this day and age ever takes place in private, so the pictures hit the air this morning, showing the hockey team gals, in uniform, pouring champagne on each others and puffing on stogies. In spite of the fact that women in full hockey array already don't look particularly feminine, these chicks looked especially rough around the edges.
Now, on one hand, the players had worked HARD for their victory and certainly deserved the right to celebrate. I don't think anybody would begrudge them the momentary lapse of propriety. My problem with the scene, however was that they chose to get down and waller in their lack of decorum right in the middle of Olympic ice, with cameras rolling--not in some local bar where that kind of behavior might be the norm!
This very subject arose on our local t.v. station's FaceBook page and I was definitely in the minority with my opinion that the actions of the hockey team were distasteful and tacky. One young woman said, "This is the 21st century! We don't HAVE to act like LADIES any more!"
Oh, really???
When did the change of millenium suddenly dictate that women should toss out their modesty, grace, and charm and just get down into the gutter to waller like a pig? How did the concept of women holding themselves to a higher standard and remembering that their femininity makes them special vanish just because a calendar page was turned? I must have missed the memo on THAT one!
Girls! Come on! We need to rediscover just WHO and WHAT we are! Why should we be so loath to admit that we are different and unique from men? Why in the world would we want to abandon the natural virtues of our gender and try to pretend to be some new variety of "GUY?" Over the years, after sporting events and frat parties, the people rolling around, dousing each other with booze, and blowing toxic smoke all over each other were usually male...and it wasn't all that attractive when it was just the MEN who were doing it. Why would women now want to mimic that rowdy behavior and claim that, in doing it, they are somehow "just as good" as the men folk?
"We don't HAVE to be ladies?" No, I don't guess we DO "have to," but then, why wouldn't we WANT to?
Somehow, the concept of being a lady has gotten the bad rap of meaning that we are weak, helpless, or incapable. For me, nothing could be further from the truth. My mama was one of the most lovely, elegant, stylish, and graceful Southern ladies one might ever hope to meet...but she also wore iron under-drawers! She could bat her lashes and pucker up those ruby red lips with the best of them...and take you apart at the seams at the same time. She knew exactly how to work what God gave her. She was charming and she was tough and she was gracious and she was a spit-fire. She put on white gloves to go to town when I was a kid, but could pull one of those gloves off in an instant to stick a manicured finger right up in the face of some uppity shop clerk to inform him she'd have his job if he didn't show her some respect! Mama was a lady but she was nobody's doormat.
That, I think, is the balance that modern young women have somehow missed. They don't seem to understand that, as women, our power comes NOT from trying to be just like men...but from being totally DIFFERENT from them and making sure they always understand that difference. A man isn't going to pursue and treasure a woman that props up on the bar next to him and lights up a cigar. A fella isn't going to write poetry and buy flowers for the chick who challenges him to an arm wrestling contest. Wars were never fought over the broads who could out cuss, out spit, and out fight all the men around them! Men aren't looking for women who look and act just like THEM!
A woman's TRUE strength doesn't come from trying to be a man! Don't misunderstand me--I'm not talking about job equality and the usual feminist mantra. That sort of thing is covered by law and is an entirely different issue. What I am talking about in this instance is the simple fact that, as women, we totally short change ourselves when we don't recognize that God make us wonderfully beautiful and special in so many ways that our male bretheren could never hope to understand. Our femininity is not a weakness by any means! Men are one part of the puzzle and we are the other. Though different and unique from one another, we fit together perfectly in our differences because that is precisely how the Lord intended it. When He decided that it was "not good that man should be alone," God didn't make another being exactly like the first. He made us to compliment and mesh with our male counterparts like perfectly fitted gears. (And don't mistake this for a discussion about sexuality, either! This is about our respective places in society and our roles as human beings together on the planet! We need the feminine every bit as much as we need the masculine for everything to flow as it should!)
While it is true that we don't HAVE to act like a lady in this modern, enlightened, sophisticated era, I would argue that we are totally missing our greatest strength and impact when we don't. Ladies, Please! Don't toss away your beauty and elegance and grace and graciousness to become a cheap imitation of a man!
So, CAN we sit on the ice and chug a few brews and talk smack with a big cigar hanging out of our mouths? Certainly...but then again, why would we want to?
Last night, at the Olympics, the Canadian women's hockey team beat the US for the gold medal. It was a hard fought game, but the Canadian girls came out the winners and their joy was well deserved. The arena, in the home country, went wild of course and the singing of "Oh, Canada" was loud and moving. Exactly the kind of stirring scene we have come to expect and enjoy from watching the Olympics over the years.
What went on in that arena later, however, prompted the subject of this commentary! After the music ended, the last high-fives with the 2nd place Americans were exchanged, and the fans had gone home, the Canadian women took to the ice again...but this time, to sit down and celebrate with booze and cigars. Naturally, nothing in this day and age ever takes place in private, so the pictures hit the air this morning, showing the hockey team gals, in uniform, pouring champagne on each others and puffing on stogies. In spite of the fact that women in full hockey array already don't look particularly feminine, these chicks looked especially rough around the edges.
Now, on one hand, the players had worked HARD for their victory and certainly deserved the right to celebrate. I don't think anybody would begrudge them the momentary lapse of propriety. My problem with the scene, however was that they chose to get down and waller in their lack of decorum right in the middle of Olympic ice, with cameras rolling--not in some local bar where that kind of behavior might be the norm!
This very subject arose on our local t.v. station's FaceBook page and I was definitely in the minority with my opinion that the actions of the hockey team were distasteful and tacky. One young woman said, "This is the 21st century! We don't HAVE to act like LADIES any more!"
Oh, really???
When did the change of millenium suddenly dictate that women should toss out their modesty, grace, and charm and just get down into the gutter to waller like a pig? How did the concept of women holding themselves to a higher standard and remembering that their femininity makes them special vanish just because a calendar page was turned? I must have missed the memo on THAT one!
Girls! Come on! We need to rediscover just WHO and WHAT we are! Why should we be so loath to admit that we are different and unique from men? Why in the world would we want to abandon the natural virtues of our gender and try to pretend to be some new variety of "GUY?" Over the years, after sporting events and frat parties, the people rolling around, dousing each other with booze, and blowing toxic smoke all over each other were usually male...and it wasn't all that attractive when it was just the MEN who were doing it. Why would women now want to mimic that rowdy behavior and claim that, in doing it, they are somehow "just as good" as the men folk?
"We don't HAVE to be ladies?" No, I don't guess we DO "have to," but then, why wouldn't we WANT to?
Somehow, the concept of being a lady has gotten the bad rap of meaning that we are weak, helpless, or incapable. For me, nothing could be further from the truth. My mama was one of the most lovely, elegant, stylish, and graceful Southern ladies one might ever hope to meet...but she also wore iron under-drawers! She could bat her lashes and pucker up those ruby red lips with the best of them...and take you apart at the seams at the same time. She knew exactly how to work what God gave her. She was charming and she was tough and she was gracious and she was a spit-fire. She put on white gloves to go to town when I was a kid, but could pull one of those gloves off in an instant to stick a manicured finger right up in the face of some uppity shop clerk to inform him she'd have his job if he didn't show her some respect! Mama was a lady but she was nobody's doormat.
That, I think, is the balance that modern young women have somehow missed. They don't seem to understand that, as women, our power comes NOT from trying to be just like men...but from being totally DIFFERENT from them and making sure they always understand that difference. A man isn't going to pursue and treasure a woman that props up on the bar next to him and lights up a cigar. A fella isn't going to write poetry and buy flowers for the chick who challenges him to an arm wrestling contest. Wars were never fought over the broads who could out cuss, out spit, and out fight all the men around them! Men aren't looking for women who look and act just like THEM!
A woman's TRUE strength doesn't come from trying to be a man! Don't misunderstand me--I'm not talking about job equality and the usual feminist mantra. That sort of thing is covered by law and is an entirely different issue. What I am talking about in this instance is the simple fact that, as women, we totally short change ourselves when we don't recognize that God make us wonderfully beautiful and special in so many ways that our male bretheren could never hope to understand. Our femininity is not a weakness by any means! Men are one part of the puzzle and we are the other. Though different and unique from one another, we fit together perfectly in our differences because that is precisely how the Lord intended it. When He decided that it was "not good that man should be alone," God didn't make another being exactly like the first. He made us to compliment and mesh with our male counterparts like perfectly fitted gears. (And don't mistake this for a discussion about sexuality, either! This is about our respective places in society and our roles as human beings together on the planet! We need the feminine every bit as much as we need the masculine for everything to flow as it should!)
While it is true that we don't HAVE to act like a lady in this modern, enlightened, sophisticated era, I would argue that we are totally missing our greatest strength and impact when we don't. Ladies, Please! Don't toss away your beauty and elegance and grace and graciousness to become a cheap imitation of a man!
So, CAN we sit on the ice and chug a few brews and talk smack with a big cigar hanging out of our mouths? Certainly...but then again, why would we want to?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Pass the Keenex
A young lady who is a news anchor for our local t.v. station recently wrote a blog about how she always cries at weddings, no matter whose, and pondered, "What's up with that?"
I had to laugh when I read her words. I'll admit, here and now, that I not only cry at weddings, I cry at EVERYTHING! You name it, I can find a reason to muster up the tears.
Just yesterday, I had a colossal boo-hoo watching "Celebrity Rehab" when McKenzie Phillips was feeding her dog ice cream right before it had to be put to sleep. Never met McKenzie and never knew the dog, but I ended up sobbing like it was my own puppy while that cute little pug lapped up the Hagen Daz!
You should SEE me trying to watch shows on TLC where people are having babies! Oh, my gosh...it's a real water works! The minute that baby pops into the world, the tears pop right out of my eyes.
The same thing can happen at church, concerts, holidays, birthdays, awards...you name it. The current Olympics are a great source of inspiration for a sob fest. I can just walk outside, look at the beauty of the sunlight on the snow and start to sniff. Watch out at the movie theater, too, because if there's a remotely sentimental moment, I'm going to begin to dribble! I lose alot of good arguments because I often end up in tears before I can get to my point. The bottom line is...I'm a weeper.
And you know what, I'm not all that ashamed of it. Oh, yea, it does create problems at times and certainly embarasses my kids to no end, but I can't truly say that, if given the choice, I would want to find a way to dry up.
So many of my more tearful moments have been times that I don't want to ever forget. Of course, I cried at my own wedding and at the birth of both my kids. I cried at my daddy's funeral...mama's, too, and most recently, as I said "see you later" while we spread my husband's ashes. When my children gave me my Valentine the other day, you better believe I teared right up. I can not tell you how many times I've sat beside my babies' cribs while they slept and cried silently at the overwhelming blessing God had given me in those two little miracles. Over and over, some of the most important, most memorable, most precious, most painful moments in my life have been accompanied with a flood of emotion, bathed in the warmth of those tears.
I don't think tears wash AWAY our feelings. I think they help them SINK IN! Maybe our tears are God's way of softening the sometimes hard edge of our emotions and allowing them to be absorbed and experienced and stored away, good or bad, for another day.
Modern society sometimes tries to convince us that we need to stay "cool" and not let our feelings get too out of control. We're supposed to compartmentalize experiences, process them like bills to be paid, and file them away neatly without losing our civilized and sophisticated veneer. On the other hand, we're also a society awash in heart disease, nervous disorders, therapists, life coaches, anorexia, addictions, and a zillion other danger signs that suggest stuffing our emotions into a box just might not be working!
More "primative" cultures just let it rip! They hoot, they hollar, they shout, they sing, they paint themselves in bright colors and leap and dance in the sunlight! Weddings are loud and joyful and last for days. Funerals are even louder and loved ones throw themselves on the casket and writhe in the grave dirt in agony. Young people becoming adults are celebrated and old people approaching the end are embraced as wise. Harvest times are reasons for a party. Natural disasters invoke a need to raise their arms to the heavens and shout.
When we are babies, our tears flow uncheck and uninhibited and unashamed. If we're hungry, we cry loudly to let the world know. If we want to be loved and hugged, we scream it out for all to hear. If we hurt or are cold or are just plain bored, as infants, we don't think twice about the tears that flow down our faces.
Yes, I'm a crier...and sort of proud to be. Nobody will ever second guess me and wonder if I FEEL something! I wear my emotions on my sleeve, but at least I wear them. You will always be able to look into my weepy eyes and know that I'm proud of you or that I hurt for you or that I love you passionately. I cry because I feel and because I cry, I KNOW what I feel.
Lest you think that I am somehow strange or out of touch, let me remind you of the shortest verse in the entire Bible: "Jesus wept." He cried. I cry. Don't think either one of us is too ashamed of that either.
Pass me a Kleenex and have a good cry with me.
I had to laugh when I read her words. I'll admit, here and now, that I not only cry at weddings, I cry at EVERYTHING! You name it, I can find a reason to muster up the tears.
Just yesterday, I had a colossal boo-hoo watching "Celebrity Rehab" when McKenzie Phillips was feeding her dog ice cream right before it had to be put to sleep. Never met McKenzie and never knew the dog, but I ended up sobbing like it was my own puppy while that cute little pug lapped up the Hagen Daz!
You should SEE me trying to watch shows on TLC where people are having babies! Oh, my gosh...it's a real water works! The minute that baby pops into the world, the tears pop right out of my eyes.
The same thing can happen at church, concerts, holidays, birthdays, awards...you name it. The current Olympics are a great source of inspiration for a sob fest. I can just walk outside, look at the beauty of the sunlight on the snow and start to sniff. Watch out at the movie theater, too, because if there's a remotely sentimental moment, I'm going to begin to dribble! I lose alot of good arguments because I often end up in tears before I can get to my point. The bottom line is...I'm a weeper.
And you know what, I'm not all that ashamed of it. Oh, yea, it does create problems at times and certainly embarasses my kids to no end, but I can't truly say that, if given the choice, I would want to find a way to dry up.
So many of my more tearful moments have been times that I don't want to ever forget. Of course, I cried at my own wedding and at the birth of both my kids. I cried at my daddy's funeral...mama's, too, and most recently, as I said "see you later" while we spread my husband's ashes. When my children gave me my Valentine the other day, you better believe I teared right up. I can not tell you how many times I've sat beside my babies' cribs while they slept and cried silently at the overwhelming blessing God had given me in those two little miracles. Over and over, some of the most important, most memorable, most precious, most painful moments in my life have been accompanied with a flood of emotion, bathed in the warmth of those tears.
I don't think tears wash AWAY our feelings. I think they help them SINK IN! Maybe our tears are God's way of softening the sometimes hard edge of our emotions and allowing them to be absorbed and experienced and stored away, good or bad, for another day.
Modern society sometimes tries to convince us that we need to stay "cool" and not let our feelings get too out of control. We're supposed to compartmentalize experiences, process them like bills to be paid, and file them away neatly without losing our civilized and sophisticated veneer. On the other hand, we're also a society awash in heart disease, nervous disorders, therapists, life coaches, anorexia, addictions, and a zillion other danger signs that suggest stuffing our emotions into a box just might not be working!
More "primative" cultures just let it rip! They hoot, they hollar, they shout, they sing, they paint themselves in bright colors and leap and dance in the sunlight! Weddings are loud and joyful and last for days. Funerals are even louder and loved ones throw themselves on the casket and writhe in the grave dirt in agony. Young people becoming adults are celebrated and old people approaching the end are embraced as wise. Harvest times are reasons for a party. Natural disasters invoke a need to raise their arms to the heavens and shout.
When we are babies, our tears flow uncheck and uninhibited and unashamed. If we're hungry, we cry loudly to let the world know. If we want to be loved and hugged, we scream it out for all to hear. If we hurt or are cold or are just plain bored, as infants, we don't think twice about the tears that flow down our faces.
Yes, I'm a crier...and sort of proud to be. Nobody will ever second guess me and wonder if I FEEL something! I wear my emotions on my sleeve, but at least I wear them. You will always be able to look into my weepy eyes and know that I'm proud of you or that I hurt for you or that I love you passionately. I cry because I feel and because I cry, I KNOW what I feel.
Lest you think that I am somehow strange or out of touch, let me remind you of the shortest verse in the entire Bible: "Jesus wept." He cried. I cry. Don't think either one of us is too ashamed of that either.
Pass me a Kleenex and have a good cry with me.
Monday, February 15, 2010
With Blinders On
I've mentioned before that our neighbor's house was destroyed by fire just before Christmas. At the time, as I related the story to others, I said that I drove past the home about an hour before I heard the sirens and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Now, I'm not so sure...
Day before yesterday, the kids and I came home, and stopped in the driveway to check the mailbox. My oldest son suddenly pointed across the road and we looked over to realize that, while we were gone for the day, they had completely torn down the remaining skeleton of the burned out house! There was a huge pile of rubble and a large orange crane sitting in the yard. I had just driven right past that location and NEVER saw any of that!
Now, I am wondering just what I missed on that fateful day when that house caught fire. I still believe that, if it had been blazing like it was when I heard the fire engines, I would have surely seen THAT...but did I perhaps cruise right past smoke pouring out the roof? Inside, a young mother and two small children were sleeping without the benefit of the warning a smoke detector could have provided. Thank God, the mother did wake up in time to get her babies out, but I shudder to contemplate the idea that she might not have...and maybe I drove right past the impending tragedy. After all, I completely missed the fact that a whole house had disappeared while I was out!
Needless to say, the whole event has prompted me to desire to be more observant. What else goes on around me that, because I'm lost in my own thoughts and focused on my own goals, I have overlooked? How many other things are falling to the ground around me and I haven't even noticed?
All around us, every day, there are people who are like that burned out shell of a house. They enter and leave our lives, broken, wounded, empty, blackened and in danger of collapse...and we get so caught up in our own wants and needs that we never lift our eyes from our own path and look around to see who else is with us on the road. We come and go, passing them by, while their need stares us in the face, seemingly impossible to miss...and yet, we manage to never see them.
Like that house, one day, they end up in a pile of rubble, sometimes beyond our ability to help. Maybe, though, if we had been looking and watching and actively caring enough to see them, we could have done something while there was just a puff of smoke, rather than waiting until they had totally burned out and ended up ruined, to be swept away and forgotten.
My prayer, today, is that I no longer go through this life with blinders on. Just as I wish I could have paid more attention to my neighbor's home, I pray that God will help me pay more attention to my Neighbor. Please, Lord, don't let me be the Priest and the Levite on the road, but give me the heart of the Samaritan!
Open my eyes and open my heart!!!
Day before yesterday, the kids and I came home, and stopped in the driveway to check the mailbox. My oldest son suddenly pointed across the road and we looked over to realize that, while we were gone for the day, they had completely torn down the remaining skeleton of the burned out house! There was a huge pile of rubble and a large orange crane sitting in the yard. I had just driven right past that location and NEVER saw any of that!
Now, I am wondering just what I missed on that fateful day when that house caught fire. I still believe that, if it had been blazing like it was when I heard the fire engines, I would have surely seen THAT...but did I perhaps cruise right past smoke pouring out the roof? Inside, a young mother and two small children were sleeping without the benefit of the warning a smoke detector could have provided. Thank God, the mother did wake up in time to get her babies out, but I shudder to contemplate the idea that she might not have...and maybe I drove right past the impending tragedy. After all, I completely missed the fact that a whole house had disappeared while I was out!
Needless to say, the whole event has prompted me to desire to be more observant. What else goes on around me that, because I'm lost in my own thoughts and focused on my own goals, I have overlooked? How many other things are falling to the ground around me and I haven't even noticed?
All around us, every day, there are people who are like that burned out shell of a house. They enter and leave our lives, broken, wounded, empty, blackened and in danger of collapse...and we get so caught up in our own wants and needs that we never lift our eyes from our own path and look around to see who else is with us on the road. We come and go, passing them by, while their need stares us in the face, seemingly impossible to miss...and yet, we manage to never see them.
Like that house, one day, they end up in a pile of rubble, sometimes beyond our ability to help. Maybe, though, if we had been looking and watching and actively caring enough to see them, we could have done something while there was just a puff of smoke, rather than waiting until they had totally burned out and ended up ruined, to be swept away and forgotten.
My prayer, today, is that I no longer go through this life with blinders on. Just as I wish I could have paid more attention to my neighbor's home, I pray that God will help me pay more attention to my Neighbor. Please, Lord, don't let me be the Priest and the Levite on the road, but give me the heart of the Samaritan!
Open my eyes and open my heart!!!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
How Much I'm Loved
I'm having a lovely Valentine's Day! My wonderful children gave me chocolate (which I probably didn't need but will enjoy alot!) and a beautiful card! The card is a real keeper, not just because the verse on it is so precious, but because Zach announced that he actually READ the verse and specifically picked it out for me. (We women know that it's not often that men take the time to read greeting cards and try to pick out a special one, so that's high praise, believe me...LOL!) Here's the verse that made me boo-hoo a flood of "happy tears"...
"Children Do Not Realize"
Until we're grown
We never know or full realize
How sweet and kind our Mother is--
How gentle and how wise...
We simply take for granted,
From day to passing day,
Each sacrifice she makes for us
In her own loving way.
But then we grow and finally learn,
The way that children do,
How much her love has really meant--
How thoughtful she's been, too.
And so this comes with all the Thanks
That you deserve and more.
For there's not a dearer mother
Than the one this greeting's for!
This is the sort of moment that every mom dreams of...that point at which our children begin to see us as more than just someone who was put on earth to tuck them in at night. When they are little and don't seem to appreciate much that we do for them, a part of us always longs for the day when they'll finally be able to look back and understand how tenderly we cared for them and that making cupcakes at the last second for a class party or sticking our hands into cold paper mache was always a labor of love. We pray for that instant when it dawns on our children that we worked awful darn hard to make life good for them...because we adored them and would have given them the moon if we could have figured out how to reel it in!
Just that simple card and hearing my boys say, "Love you, Mom," is dearer to me than all the awards and rewards I could have ever achieved in any other endeavor in my life. Everything I ever did for them, every sleepless night, every nickle spent, every frustration, every loss, everything and anything I ever had to give up for them, was ALL worth it, just to hear them tell me that it mattered and that they KNOW they are loved!
In that same way, though, I remember that I, too, am someone's Child. Yes, I am my earthly parents' daughter and I hope I told them enough how much I appreciated them before they left me...but I am ALSO the child of the most adoring and giving Father of all. No worldly parent, no matter how hard they tried, could ever match the depth of the love He has for me. King of Kings, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of everything, He could have easily just dropped me in on this planet and left me to fend for myself...but instead, His Word tells me that I am His most precious invention and He delights Himself in my existence. Everything I see around me was put here for my enjoyment. He tends me closer than a shepherd watches his flock and has known me, intimately, from long before I was even conceived. He can even count the hairs on my head!
When I was in danger of being lost to Him, He completely gave Himself to bear the weight of my foolishness, lest we ever be seperated for eternity. He loves me so much, He chose to die to keep me close.
How often do I, like my own children, take that depth of love for granted and just expect more and more, without stopping to say, "I realize how much You mean to me!" I run and bury my face in His arms when troubles come, looking for that comfort that only a Parent can give...but when things are good and I think I'm standing strong on my own, do I take a minute to look behind me and see His hands, holding me up, carrying me over the rough spots?
Today, on this day when we celebrate how much we love--and how much we are loved by others--I want to stop and be the kind of Child my own boys have been to me today!
Happy Valentine's Day, Dear Lord!! I Love you, Father!
"Children Do Not Realize"
Until we're grown
We never know or full realize
How sweet and kind our Mother is--
How gentle and how wise...
We simply take for granted,
From day to passing day,
Each sacrifice she makes for us
In her own loving way.
But then we grow and finally learn,
The way that children do,
How much her love has really meant--
How thoughtful she's been, too.
And so this comes with all the Thanks
That you deserve and more.
For there's not a dearer mother
Than the one this greeting's for!
This is the sort of moment that every mom dreams of...that point at which our children begin to see us as more than just someone who was put on earth to tuck them in at night. When they are little and don't seem to appreciate much that we do for them, a part of us always longs for the day when they'll finally be able to look back and understand how tenderly we cared for them and that making cupcakes at the last second for a class party or sticking our hands into cold paper mache was always a labor of love. We pray for that instant when it dawns on our children that we worked awful darn hard to make life good for them...because we adored them and would have given them the moon if we could have figured out how to reel it in!
Just that simple card and hearing my boys say, "Love you, Mom," is dearer to me than all the awards and rewards I could have ever achieved in any other endeavor in my life. Everything I ever did for them, every sleepless night, every nickle spent, every frustration, every loss, everything and anything I ever had to give up for them, was ALL worth it, just to hear them tell me that it mattered and that they KNOW they are loved!
In that same way, though, I remember that I, too, am someone's Child. Yes, I am my earthly parents' daughter and I hope I told them enough how much I appreciated them before they left me...but I am ALSO the child of the most adoring and giving Father of all. No worldly parent, no matter how hard they tried, could ever match the depth of the love He has for me. King of Kings, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of everything, He could have easily just dropped me in on this planet and left me to fend for myself...but instead, His Word tells me that I am His most precious invention and He delights Himself in my existence. Everything I see around me was put here for my enjoyment. He tends me closer than a shepherd watches his flock and has known me, intimately, from long before I was even conceived. He can even count the hairs on my head!
When I was in danger of being lost to Him, He completely gave Himself to bear the weight of my foolishness, lest we ever be seperated for eternity. He loves me so much, He chose to die to keep me close.
How often do I, like my own children, take that depth of love for granted and just expect more and more, without stopping to say, "I realize how much You mean to me!" I run and bury my face in His arms when troubles come, looking for that comfort that only a Parent can give...but when things are good and I think I'm standing strong on my own, do I take a minute to look behind me and see His hands, holding me up, carrying me over the rough spots?
Today, on this day when we celebrate how much we love--and how much we are loved by others--I want to stop and be the kind of Child my own boys have been to me today!
Happy Valentine's Day, Dear Lord!! I Love you, Father!
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